Is being born as a girl really a curse?
My sister has been married for past 16 years and now she has come back to us, her parents, after 16 years of her marriage.
All cultured girls in India, no matter what religion they come from, are taught from the childhood by their parents that the house in which they are born is not actually their’s rather they are like guests and one day they need to go to their real home, that is of their husband and in-laws. The girls have to “manage” and “adjust” in their so called actual homes, no matter what the case is.
Same was the case with my sister, she got married at 18, every one used to say she is very beautiful, which she indeed was, and when some one brought the proposal of a boy living in Kanpur, my parents accepted that and she got married.
Ever since her marriage, she was not happy at her in-laws because of their ever rising demands and her husband’s physical harassments which accounted beating and abusing, sometimes inside the bedroom and sometimes in front of the domestic servants.
My parents, like almost every cultured and traditional parents in India, would advise her to please try to adjust in her family and that is her real home and she should try to manage.
The Question that comes now: Is it really correct to make your own daughter so seperate from you after marriage ? What was it that you gave to her in her years before marriage ? What is really love or just a comfort that we give to our guests when they come to stay with us at our home ?
I am not talking about that there is no difference between girl and boy here, I am talking about the authority and responsiblity of parents towards a girl even after her marriage.
Now after 16 years of her marriage when she does have 2 sons, one of 16 and other of 9, her elder son also started treating her as a maid servant in house and started shouting at her and beating her.
The consequence is such, that now my sister has developed in her mind that the daughters are a curse in society.
Although very encouraging and very enthusiastic, but some where in his mind, my father has also started thinking like this.
Remember, I am talking of the year 2009 that we consider the most advanced and modern, both parents and my sister are very well educated, this is a truth.
I remember, when my daughter was born and I was very happy (2007) while getting back to home our Watchman asked us, “Is it a Boy” and I repied happily, its my sweet daughter. He became sad and said with a crying gesture, “Oh Don’t worry Sir, next time God will give a Son”.
I came home and could not sleep whole night, I asked my mother that what problem did the watchman have if its a girl, I am so happy to have her then what is his problem and why did he say those words to me.
We watch the serial “Balika Vadhu” that comes on Colors channel on TV and my sister finds each episode so true to life.
She now lives with us, she says us there is no point of “ringing the bell” as her in-laws are big people in Kanpur and even if we get help of a NGO or Police, they would rather buy them and no body will take our side. They don’t need lakhs of rupees, in Uttar Pradesh you can buy law and order in a few thousands.
So in this year 2009, I think of 2 things – either all girls and their parents should take a step forward, and show that the girls are not equal to boys – rather they are superior to boys, they should not “adjust” and “manage” in their in-laws just to please the parents or the society in general, rather they should be a Judge in thier own rights and for their own honour. OR, we all should take a pledge to kill our daughters as and when they are born, so that there is no problem when they grow up.
Yours truly,
RS
Tagged Law
Share this:
