Speak Out Without Fear
I was just browsing about this entire bell bajao thing on the net when some old incidents crossed my mind. I was reminded of my cousin sister who invested 5 years of her life in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend never really respected her feelings or thoughts and would often abuse her infront of his friends. Though hurt and humiliated, many a times she never really confronted him nor did she ever feel the need to walk out of the relationship. I tried to coax her into standing up for herself and raising her voice, but she dismissed all this by saying she loves him way too much to go against him.
Now here comes my point that if women who just fail to speak out despite being encouraged to do so, then how can such campaigns help them. Though my sister was not married to him thankfully, yet she was in pain caused by his harsh comments and insults. The bell bajao ad encourages people to stand up for the victim. But how can one stand up for some one who refuses to stand up on her own. When I tried to talk to her boyfriend, he accused me of brainwashing my sister and spoiling their relationship. In spite of his accusations, I went on to fight for my sister’s self respect. But when she dint really make any effort, I gave up.
We are always quick to blame men for being violent with women and causing harm to them, but no one blames the women for bearing the torture silently. It is said that god helps those who help themselves. In order to bring domestic violence or any other kind of violence to halt, women should first learn to stand up and speak out. They should stop feeling like victims and step out in the sun.
Yes, it is easy for me to pen down my thoughts, but difficult for women to really follow because of the so-called social norms. Many victims of domestic violence remain quite as they don’t want to get socially isolated. Rape victims don’t lodge a complaint with fear of loss of reputations. Women or kids molested by their own family members don’t speak out because they fear no body will believe them. Why are such girls/ women so scared to scream aloud about what is being done to them?? Why are women the sole bearer of the family honor?
Be it any relationship both men and women need to learn to respect each other and learn to raise their voice when disrespected. A campaign like this can be fully successful when women let go of their inhibitions about the so-called safe keeping the family pride or social norms and defend themselves. We will definitely ring the bell to stop a man from beating his wife, but who will stop the man in future if the women remains a silent victim, if she refuses to speak against her husband. Who will help women who let people abuse them?
A relationship is a beautiful thing to happen to anybody, but please don’t let the love for relationship or your desire to safe keep it cost you your self respect. If women start respecting their own self and take pride in being a woman and stop thinking of them as fragile pieces, then I am sure no one will have the guts to victimize them.
Tagged domestic violence
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