Love is not a feeling.
I was sitting and watching a movie on Saturday night, just one of those random flicks that hang on my perpetually surfing remote. It was a heart-warming story of a single-parent with kids trying to adjust to a new life. There was a line in the movie that got my attention – "Love is not a feeling. It is an ability." I was blown away by its truth and wanted to own it.
Six years ago, I met a man who was a father, played an instrument and was athletic just like me except for one difference. He was blind. A bout of small pox stole his sight and there was no tissue there in his eye sockets. It carried the semblance of two hollows where if God wished He could plant afresh a new pair of eyes. But this man laughed from his belly and played in orchestras. And he had a wife who was fully sighted. Ranjan was a man in more ways than just one, like me.
He was no different, except that he saw with his heart, his other four senses and not his eyes. This ability tuned out the din that we normal people encounter when we see with our eyes. Things like shape, colour, skin texture, beautiful things pleasing to the eye. We are so used to this form of seeing that we miss the real and the mysterious like the myriad tone colourations of a single voice; the sound of a held-in breath when a person you love extends a welcome hug; the gap of interminable silence hanging between sentences of a conversation between friends that convey thoughtfulness, love and respect; the sound of your child breathing when her little head hits the pillow that lets you know your day as a parent is done….the list goes on and on… and none of this can be told to us by our sight.
I once playfully asked Ranjan if he could indeed tell the subtle indivudual differences of what made a woman attractive to him since he could not see. He said it was her "voice!" and all its nuances. I had no answer but the truth of it was a blinding light to my soul. On another occasion, I asked his wife, a Nurse, how it was that she chose to marry Ranjan, inspite of the obvious. She said she had prayed while still in her formative years, that God would give her a husband whom she could serve and take care of. Both their prayers were answered. They have a son called Rhythm, so named after their love of music.
"Love is not a feeling. It is an ability….."
I have seen. I know. I believe.
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