Women – speak up
This is my plea to victims who have survived – help your sisters. You know what you’ve been through and only you can feel what she is feeling.
If all of us get together and end our silence, then people will wake up. Else, for people who are unaffected – it will be just another campaign on TV. They will feel sorry and forget about it.
In my workplace there are so stringent rules – a man cannot come within 6 inch radius – else it could be considered a violation of codes. Even if he tries to make a pass, he can be fired just on a woman’s testimony. Then why , is she not given equal protection in her home.
Living behind closed doors with your abuser is a more dangerous situation than sexual harrasment at workplace or on the streets late at nights. This man totally has her at his mercy.
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aussie_girlApril 30, 2009 at 7:13 am
hi, i just found this website and i am finding it very helpful. i am currently going through a break-up with an abusive ex-boyfriend and reading that i’m not alone is helping. is there any other sites/blogs you can recommend for me to keep reading and getting help? thank you…
Mohua NathMay 1, 2009 at 7:09 am
Hi Aussie_girl, Thank you very much for reaching out. Here are some pointers about typical abusers. 1) Its NOT your fault that he abused you. They FIND a way to get provoked. There is no excuse for abuse. 2) Usually they see others and can tell whats right and wrong – but they cant see that they themselves might have a problem. IF they do (i.e, regret) then there is HOPE that he may turn into a new leaf – else the abusive cycle will continue. 3) You are brave for deciding to leave. Suffering in silence is encouraging further abusive behaviour. 4) There will be times when you will cry, want to call him, feel sorry for him or want to go back to him. These are the real challenges. Dont do anything rash and always consult well-wishers before you do so. (Most of the time they will stop you – listen to them) 5) This incident should not weaken you – its an opportunity for something new in your life. It will make you stronger. 6) Look into your future – decide to do something exciting that you always wanted to do but didnt. 7) Pamper yourself.
Take some time off before you get into a new relationship. 9) When life gives you a lemon – make a lemonade out of it. 10) Websites: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-A-Domestic-Abuse-Survivor/206414 Good luck.
Bhakti NMay 8, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I need ur help on dis. Plz guide me in the right direction as my near ones are going thru dis pain, she does not want to complain to the Police as she is an Indian but yes i want to do something for her plz guide me what should i do to save her and secure her from his husband who tortures her a lot?
Apj_luckMay 11, 2009 at 3:16 am
Mohua raised a valid point, abused women should fight for their rights and try to establish equal rights. It is high time to punish abuser and establish an example by punishing abuser.
Christina Lobo JhaMay 18, 2009 at 9:56 am
One more thing….. ‘Don’t ever make excuses for the abuser’
Mohua NathMay 29, 2009 at 8:00 am
Bhakti, Go to this link: http://www.bellbajao.org/mediawiki/index.php5?title=Main_Page Its on bellbajao.com itself…it will tell you everything you need to know to help her. Bhakti, unfortunately, the saddest part of all this is if the woman herself doesnt want to help herself- then there is limitation on what friends / family can do. Desire has to come from her inner self to save herself from this situation – You can always show her the way – but she has to walk the way.
AnkurAugust 21, 2010 at 6:31 am
my mami is going through the domestic voilence since long time .I want to stop it now. She is not complaining but can i complain against my own mama.But i dont want my name to come out.