It Takes Two: Miss Independent
I believe it’s been well proven that domestic violence is more prevalent in households where the female partner is as much a dependent as the children, relative to financial dependency. At times the reasoning behind a woman or a man deciding to stay back at home and take care of the children is quite sensible, depending on the stability of the families’ income and resources. Two heads are better than one and if responsibilities are shared well between the two the welfare of the household can only be improved.
However, such a situation should not be exploited and used as leverage. We live in a capitalist society where money is paramount and tantamount to survival. Thus a loss in income or a loss of the breadwinner can lead to very dire straights.
Many housewives who are victims of domestic violence tend to stick to an abusive partner because they have no way to support themselves financially. At times, even the woman’s family is partially dependent on the abusive husband. It’s pertinent that we strive to make sure that our daughters, sisters, mothers and women in general are able to sustain themselves, even if they do go on to decide to be housewives. Their decision to either leave or stay in an abusive relationship sould not centre on financial independence.
Furthermore, as men we should appreciate the women who throw their careers away because they’ve made a conscious decision to put their all in raising our children. Being a breadwinner should not then entail being a dictator and we should never forget that money alone cannot raise a family. It Takes Two.
Tagged domestic violence
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JorindaMay 1, 2009 at 5:25 pm
i love the last part. so true.
K.F.May 13, 2009 at 2:06 am
Indeed Christina, it’s a sad truth. But the question is, what do we do about it, what’s the way forward? As for the older generation, specifically some of thew examples you pointed out, well that just might be a lost cause, which means we then need to have a focul point in our youth, thus avoiding repetition of such situations.
Christina Lobo JhaMay 17, 2009 at 4:21 am
That is so true….being a provider is not enough you have to nuture at the same time. I like what you’ve said ‘The decision to either leave or stay in an abusive relationship sould not centre on financial independence’. There are three women that Ive come across in the past few months. One is very educated, rich and an entrepreneur…the second is the Jain lady of my first blog… and the third one is the regular middle class graduate. The rich womans husband troubles her sometimes and tells her to get out but she tells him if it’s her house then he has to get out plus shes also financially independant. The other lady is uneducated and says after years of beating that there is no one infront of her or behind her. No father, mother or bhai behen. Then there is the third who is also harrassed by her husband and 2 mothers in law.Its 6 years now. If u say two?????? well one is her own mother in law adn the other is her Mother in law’s – mother in law!!!!! She has enough to eat and feed her child but not enough for rent so she stays as her daily mantra is “what bout the rent” I still like what you’ve said but it’s a fact with majority of our women ‘The decision to either leave or stay in an abusive relationship is very much centred on financial independence’