I wish I could tell her about a sixty year old woman who emailed me…
Image of a painting by Vincent Van Gogh
9 20 PM : I stepped into the balcony to call the cat inside and heard the distinct thump of fists landing on somebody’s back. Dimly visible in the shadows, on a bench, was the back of a white shirt and a hazy figure.
I had heard similar sounds around 7 30- 8 PM. I was suspicious, but although dark, the park had been crowded then, Volley Ball and Football matches going on, the audience scattered all over the park. The two dark figures, I was sure, were from amongst them.
But now the park was empty, and I saw lifted arms folding hair into a bun. The sound must have been something else. Suddenly the shadow of the man (it was very dark) moved and more thumps were heard – he was hitting and muttering something angrily. It was too unexpected – who were they? Was he known to her? How were they out of their homes at this hour? I wanted to warn this man that someone had seen him.
The park is behind the houses. No one, not even the watchman goes there at this time. I called out aloud to our cat, loud enough for him to hear. He hit her again. I called out to the kids to call their dad (he wasn’t home). The man looked back and stood up. A hefty man in shorts and t-shirt, the girl was skinny and wore tight trousers. They walked away like a couple taking an after dinner evening stroll.
I thought of all the things I could have said to that girl to let her know this was abuse. I wanted to tell her about this email I received yesterday.
It was an anonymous email about an upper middle-class woman who wants to know what her options are. She is a professionally qualified, a Gold Medalist – her husband made her give up her jobs one after another and he sold the house they had in her name. He has been verbally and physically abusive all their lives.
If she walks out now, where can she go in Delhi and NCR? She is sixty.
She could have walked out earlier, but she thought it would be better for their son to have a ‘normal‘ family life. She regrets the decision today. She did not know that there can be no normal family life if there is Domestic Violence involved. Even today she feels ready to leave but also fears that “He can’t manage without her.” She needs guidance.
So if this young girl on the dark bench in the park is thinking things will improve, I would like her to know about a sixty year old woman who knows better now.
Crossposted on Indian Home Maker blog
Tagged domestic violence, Marriage, violence against women
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