(Photo Credit: Pavan Kumar)

Know a friend who may be suffering abuse by her partner? Not sure how you can help her. Read on to understand the sensitive approach to helping a victim become a survivor.

1. What all constitutes as domestic violence?

•   If the partner hits, punches, slaps, chokes or shoves her/him
•    If the partner destroys personal property
•    Prevents him/her from seeing friends and family
•    Insults him/her in public and/or in private?
•    Controls his/her finances
•    Shows extreme jealousy or accuses her/him of infidelity
•    Forces him/her to have sex against his/her will
•    Harasses him/her for dowry

 2. How do I recognize that someone is being abused?

Some of the signs you may notice of people who are facing abuse:

• Physical: Unexplained injuries, bruises, black eyes, sprains, broken bones or teeth. In some cases, the bruises may not be visible, as the abuser intentionally hits the victim on an area that is usually covered by clothes.
• Emotional: Anxious, upset, depressed, tearful, angry, worried, restless, quiet or confused.
• Social: Avoiding people, not answering the door or phone, canceling events, getting into arguments.
• Financial: Overdrawn account, foreclosure, and eviction.
• Legal: Frequent court dates, divorce, child custody problems.
• Work: Absences, tardiness, sick days, a decrease in work quality, unable to complete tasks, becoming isolated from coworkers.

3. Who faces domestic violence?

• Domestic violence does not only occur in lower socio-economic groups or illiterate households.
• Domestic violence does not only occur only among married couples.
• Domestic violence does not only occur in certain religious groups.
• Domestic violence does not only occur in certain ethnic groups.

4. Who is responsible for domestic violence?

•  Abusers can be male or female
•  The victim/survivor is never responsible for the abuser’s behavior.
•  There are no justifications for abuse such as  alcohol, drugs, infidelity, mental illness, working women, and home incidents such as poor food preparation.
•  The only true cause of domestic violence is the abuser’s choice to act violently.

5. Why don’t victims of domestic violence leave their situations?

•  Lack of financial independence/resources
•  Shelters are not common or pervasive throughout India and abroad may be considered socially taboo.
•  Lack of a supportive network in terms of friends and family.
•  Social stigmas of a failed marriage and broken home.
•  Lack of sense of independence.
•  Fear of provoking the partner/spouse  more by leaving the home.
•   Misconceptions of sexual and domestic violence influenced by traditional patriarchy.
•  Holding oneself responsible for the abuse.
•  Belief that the person will change.

6. What are the effects of domestic violence on the victims?

The effects of domestic violence or abuse can be very long-lasting, emotional, physically and mentally damaging. People who have been abused by a spouse or intimate partner often suffer from:

• Depression, anger and anxiety attacks
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of trust in others and weak relationships
• Sensitivity to rejection and a feeling of abandonment
• Chronic health problems, substance abuse, sleeping problems and inability to work
• Physical abuse may result in serious injury or death

7. How can you help a friend?

• Let them know that you are concerned
• That they are not alone.
• That they do not deserve the abuse.
• That help is available.

To break out of the cycle of abuse women need support:

• Let the person talk.
• Work together to develop a safety plan
• Respect the person;s right to make decisions.
• Share information about available resources.
• Take action personally against domestic violence when a neighbour, co-worker, friend or family member is involved speak out against the abuse.
• Talk to the person you believe is abusive – if not, they may think that abusive behaviour is ok.
• Inform relevant Service Providers or Officers on the incident of domestic violence for legal assistance.

8. Why is domestic violence a violation of human rights?

• It is a violation of the human rights to life and liberty.
•   Women and men should be able to live lives free of violence. 

What are the socio-economic costs of violence?

The socio-economic costs of violence are also high and include the following:

• Direct costs are the value of goods and services used in treating or preventing violence such as medical, police, criminal justice system, housing, and social services costs.
• Non-monetary costs are the pain and suffering that are a direct result of the violence and include increased morbidity, increased mortality via homicide and suicide, abuse of alcohol and drugs and depressive disorders.
• Economic multiplier effects are the macroeconomic, labor market and inter-generational productivity impacts, including decreased labor market participation, reduced productivity on the job, lower earnings, increased absenteeism, inter-generational productivity impacts via grade repetition and lower education attainment of children, decreased investment and savings and capital flight.
• Social multiplier effects are the impacts on interpersonal relationship and quality of life including inter-generational transmission of violence, reduced quality of life, erosion of social capital and reduced participation in democratic process.

(Source: Investing in Gender Equality: Global Evidence and the Asia-Pacific Gender Mainstreaming Programme UNDP Regional Centre in Colombo, 2008)

9. Is domestic violence a big problem in our community?

Domestic violence is a hidden problem in India, as the home is considered a private space under the control of the male head of the household.

According to the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW)( http://www.icrw.org/) in 1999, four out of ten women in India have experienced violence at home and 45% of women have suffered at least one incident of physical or psychological violence in their lifetime.

Outside India, immigrant women face particular challenges when faced with an abusive partner, including cultural and language barriers, limited access to housing, legal status, isolation, and economic insecurity. Often, these factors intersect to isolate immigrant women and prevent them from accessing services.

 Immigrant women tend to be isolated and this prevents them from accessing services. Access to services are further hindered when service providers are unable to adequately respond to immigrant women’s unique needs and barriers

10. What can communities and institutions do to prevent domestic violence?

• Dont be silent, speak up against the abuse.
• Talk to children and promote gender sensitivity among them.
• Expand education and awareness efforts to increase positive attitudes towards non-violence and encourage individuals to reports family violence.
• Develop mutual respect and take a pro rights stance.
• Advocate for the implementation of the Protection of women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 and judicial procedures at the state and local levels that support and protect battered women.
• Mandate training in domestic violence for all social services and legal professionals.
• Support local shelters.
• Recruit and train volunteers to staff helplines, accompany victims to court, and provide administrative support to shelters and victim services.
• Establish medical protocols to help physicians and other health care personnel indentify and help women facing domestic abuse.
• Provide legal representation for survivors of domestic violence
• Advocate for the accessibility of services for all population groups.